It’s been almost two years since the end of a narcissistic relationship and I can honestly say it was probably one of the best gifts ever given to me because it started me on the path of truly Awakening!!
When we truly aren’t on the right path, or going in the right direction or not paying attention our Soul will step in to really get our attention and that is usually through something that can be painful – so we either dig in to do the work to heal and wake up more or we go into victim mode.
I had to be honest with myself – I not been paying attention, gave my power away and my Soul stepped in and gave me a wake up call – that is what happens when we least expect it!!
I choose to do the work as I did not want to go through that again.
In the last 2 years I have dug deep within myself, healed old emotional wounds, aka lightened the toxic emotional baggage, cleared old energies no longer needed in my life, forgiven many people who I perceived did something wrong, released unhealthy ways of thinking and being, expanded and raised my awareness therefore consciousness!!
It truly was a gift in disguise for me.
It’s still an on going process!!
When I first started the healing process I was hurt, confused, and rattled I will be honest. Yet I have been looked after and supported during this whole process of unraveling more of me and my truth and letting go of my untruths and many many programs. Plus I have some amazing friends who held space for me during some rough moments!! ( you know who you are!! :))
I took the opportunity to really dive in and look at why I attracted this or better yet why I created it because we’re creating everything in our lives – nothing just happens or is outside of ourselves.
I had to dive in and look at the energies of that relationship, me and my truth as to how it ended and what came out of it.
Manipulation, deception and cheating were the themes.
WTF was I vibrating energetically? Who was I really being? Where was I not being honest in my life and in myself? Who was I lying to? Who was I manipulating?
Lots of questions lead to lots of introspection as I was asleep to the truth of me!
And yes there were many amazing moments and growth in that relationship that I am also thank full for – it was how it came to an end that more was revealed!
I realize that it was me to me by not choosing me, by not being me, by trying to fit in and be liked by everyone (seriously like wth eh?? :). By wearing personas or masks of pretending everything was okay or I was this or that yet being so disconnected from within and that was the energy being played out in my reality.
When we choose to go within and do the work that’s when magic and miracles start happening!! That is when awareness grows and therefore consciousness. Yes it’s an on going daily thing.
It hasn’t always been easy in the last 2 years and I’ve reached plateaus, coasted for a while and then turned around and did more deep-diving as I call it.
It’s always always been worth it taking me to a new level one of more awareness, one of more calmness, more joy, more self love, forgiveness and even non-judgements.
And remembering – remembering more of who I am in this human exploration and what brings me true joy while being here.
That is the start and the journey of the Soul Awakening and remembering who one truly is and to choose you! None of it comes from ego or programs being run.
We really are much more than the human we pretend to be!!
Self – Soul – Source – higher vibrations of pure Love.
The Soul speaks to you through the heart as it only knows Love – real, pure Love.
Trust your heart!