My Soul Wanted Growth……..have you ever been in a situation that maybe didn’t make sense to you at the time but looking back on it later the clarity is more vivid?
Yes Yoga especially Yin has been a big part of my healing and growth
In December when I came down to Mexico to house sit, in the first 2 weeks I was here I had to 2 scenarios that altered my life, my direction I was going and honestly brought me to my knees.
I was in Mexico – didn’t know a soul, couldn’t speak the language and had to start going within, quieting the mind chatter, letting myself cry and feel the emotions I needed to (that is an upcoming post that I can’t wait to share how to move emotions through the body!!) – so interesting looking back how events unfolded (no matter how shitty they were) so I could truly step up!!
Ever get stuck in a prickly bush????
Plus I had some very amazing friends that held space for me even if it was over the phone – support network is good too – you guys know who you are and I am so grateful for you all!! xoxo
Things like that happen – whether emotionally or physically – yes even physically when we truly aren’t listening, paying attention or on the wrong path or we have distorted views – which most of us do or we would be enlightened. It’s our Souls way of saying Wake up!!
Oldest Bar in New Orleans – oh if those walls could talk!!!
For many of us, myself included – it’s easy to take the victim role and tell our ‘story’ over and over and ask questions like Why did this happen to me? What’s wrong with me? etc
Who wants to stay locked up in the past??? There is only NOW.
We don’t want to stay locked up in the past or old ways of being!
As we move along the path of becoming more Conscious and therefore taking responsibility for everything that happens in our life – cause after all we ARE the Creators of our lives – but we have been taught, programmed, dumbed down and lied to that we really aren’t in control and things just happen.
Bull shit!! 🙂
Thank goodness that Science is evolving and bridging with it Spirituality and yes crap doesn’t just happen to us – we create it into physical form from our thoughts, feelings and beliefs. Hard do swallow sometimes I know. Trust me I know, yet if everything is energy (and it is) and vibrates at different frequencies it shows us that we can and need to take responsibility IF we want different things, feelings and people inner lives.
When we take responsibility we ask different questions, we look at things, situations and people in our life as a reflection of our thoughts and beliefs – Nassim Haramein has shared his documented studies in the Connected Universe – I highly recommend watching it. Bruce Lipton, Gregg Braden and Dr. Joe Dispenza also have some amazing studies, facts and new ways of thinking AND being – I have learned lots!
With that being said, I have been diving in and out of Quantum Physics etc for a couple of years but couldn’t fully embody it. When these events happened I knew I had to dive in and ask myself what was being reflected back to me and honestly be open to seeing things about myself I couldn’t or didn’t want to before!
What kind of energy was I vibrating (feeling), what were my thoughts, beliefs, patterns and how did I truly feel about myself.
Big Step Forward
I wanted to take a BIG leap forward! 🙂
I didn’t want to stay stuck and to keep telling the same story I wanted to move the energy!
I’ll be honest, wasn’t always easy – there were moments where I just wanted to go to the mall shopping (escaping some pain, going unconscious :)) and not deal with it but I knew the more I pushed through the layers of BS I would come out lighter and have more of me – the true authentic me. It didn’t happen over night and I had to go through and re-experience some of it to truly embody the lessons and go deeper within.
Oh my!!!! The payoff has been worth it all.
Our true self is the essence of unconditional love, pure joy, bliss and gratitude – all the other things are just big fat fucking lies we tell ourselves from the stories we have created or have happened to us.
Higher Vibe Living and Being
Feeling the love even on a bad hair day with no make up – is also being vulnerable and authentic!
Growth is not always easy but I feel it’s worth every moment as when you are re-claiming more of you, living truly authentic, having much love for self and others, raising your vibration which allows for more consciousness.
Words cannot describe it at all – one has to experience it!
It’s NOT about being perfect – what is perfect? Who is perfect? Let go there is NO getting it right only evolution!
My world has opened up, new people and experiences have been coming in that have been amazing, my awareness has increased and my new path has been lit up – I can’t wait to share more (it’s like I am getting downloads ) as the world needs us to step into our true authentic selves and be the light and way showers for others – the more we do this is we re-claim our power and self love then changes can be made here on planet earth like crazy!!
Know that whatever you are going through it’s only temporary and things can change fast – ask yourself better questions, what lesson can you learn, what do you need to see and how can you be more truthful with yourself – about ALL aspects of self.
We’ve all created stories, patterns and beliefs from our parents, teachers and society – not to make anyone wrong as everyone is doing the best they can but it’s time to tell different, more empowering, loving and intentional stories!
I decided to create a short video to share from my heart about moving in the direction of Higher Vibe Living – why and what it means to me and reaching out to women especially women who have and do struggle with emotional eating – it’s really the same behind any pattern or addiction to degree.
Since it is easier to share in words than writing from my heart I will start doing more vids – never thought I would!! Yet I still will do my photography as I so enjoy that!!
Please feel free to leave a comment or share!
Have a fantastic day!!
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Being someone that has struggled with an eating disorder when younger and now realizing I need to share my story and bring awareness so others can overcome their struggles with food, body issues or low self esteem. Dr’s don’t know how to work with this situation and the recovery rate is not very high at all. The one thing that separates an eating disorder or emotional eating from other addictions is that food is everywhere!! We create many gatherings around food, celebrations, deaths, parties and it’s even trendy to be a ‘foodie’ now whether that is raw, vegan, gluten free, paleo or whatever else is out there!! There fore overcoming an eating issue is much harder than say drugs – you can quit those all together.
Healthy Relationship with Food
What is so important to learn or actually in some cases unlearn is how we feel inside – what beliefs or programs are you (was I ) running? With the media today on tv, magazines and the internet we are constantly bombarded and reminded that we are not good enough the way we are and there is something outside of ourselves that is better or will fix our problems or make our life better. We are constantly chasing something or someone……….yet not going within.
It feels so good, so free when we let go, de-program and allow our authentic self emerge!
We need to de-program lack and not good enough and re-program with self love and being good enough.
Maybe it comes with age – when you start realizing some of that crap just isn’t important, maybe it comes with an awakening of some sort, maybe when one decides to finally take the blue pill I reflect back over my life and look at the times I gave my power away to food, people and places – not feeling good enough or that thing or person had more power over me.
If Everything is Energy – including our states of being – aka not good enough, we can step into realizing that we can change that. If I can feel not good enough – how about feeling good enough – what does that feel like? Try it on. If I hate myself or my body – lets start asking better questions – why would I choose that? What else could I feel instead? How could I better be myself? Why do I need to follow the crowd or try and fit in? etc You and I did choose that, we are choosing everything we think and feel. We need to take responsibility for that (waking up) and know we can create something else. How do I want to feel? What would I like to experience? It has nothing to do with anyone else, judging, comparing, what happened in the past or what might happen in the future. It’s about being fully present in the moment and falling in love with you, your body and your life!!
Quantum Physics is proving that our environment is a reflection or extension of our mind. I will keep repeating that often as our thoughts are electric and our feelings are magnetic. What that means is if I am thinking I am not good enough AND feeling it I am manifesting people and situations that reflect that back to me that I am not good enough. No one has done anything to me that I haven’t been thinking or feeling therefore viberating. Yes, that may have raised some questions as it did for me many times as I did not understand how I could have created some of the crap I did in my life.
Get Playful & Colourful in Your Imagination
Get creative with your imagination – it all starts there and is very powerful!
Everything is Energy……..that has been proven. Are you thinking and feeling Love, Joy, Gratitude, Empowerment, Integrity, Bliss, Compassion or not??
Any fear, doubt, lack, anger, frustration etc will over ride those. That kind of energy is dense and heavy.
We can even take it further as many of the Guru’s say this is a variety of ways – don’t look at reality and use that as your guidance, stay focused on how you do want to feel and what you do want to experience – it’s not avoiding it’s a form of overriding. If everything is energy – where attention goes energy flows.
We are programmed for the negative – just look at the news or television – telling a vision – who’s vision though? It sure ain’t yours or mine so if I may suggest stop watching the tv, reading the paper, and buying those crappy magazines!!
I was in a check out line yesterday and I was looking at the magazines and all the headlines – nothing has changed since I was about 20 yrs old and buying into the programming of lack and not good enough way back then – it’s only gotten worse – if I buy this and read it – then my life and body will be perfect………..
Love – Self Love
What is perfect? What is true for you? It requires slowing down, connecting with self, going within and knowing you are awesome!
Yes – it’s true. We have been lead to believe we aren’t good enough the way we are. We are constantly chasing something.
We are powerful creators, we have just been doing it unconsciously and now we can learn to create consciously and set our intentions on what we truly desire.
Do you know what your truly desire or desire to feel? You are good enough and you are deserving – now do you feel and believe that?
Lets start there!! Practice embodying feeling good enough and deserving!
This was the project I started earlier this year, but with travelling and moving it didn’t stay in the front of my projects. Also trying to find locations as I don’t have a studio hasn’t always been easy to shoot mostly nudes. Now that the weather is rainy, grey and cold well lets just say it ain’t beach weather!!
I’m shifting gears a little with the project as I am moving forward with it no matter what – it’s like my Sou’s urging, one of them, to do this – I know it is needed now more than ever with 40% of 9 year old girls either have been or on a diet and that is just in Canada…..WTH?? I think back to what I was doing at 9 years old and I was playing with dolls or out climbing trees. I was not dieting, I was too busy out side playing to do that, it’s a big sign of how the times have changed and what is going on in our culture.
Raw, Naked and Beautiful
I’ve only had the honour of shooting a handful of ladies so far, who have also shared their stories for the book that it will turn into – and the body issues, self esteem issues and even one’s relationship with food as I know many, many women struggle with this.
Raw, Naked and Beautiful
I must say they are brave, bold and beautiful as I know myself personally what comes up for me when it’s time to expose my body. It is much easier now as on purpose I have gone to the nude beach to over come any issues. When being photographed and attention is really directed on me, I pay attention to what I am feeling and have started asking why? Why do I feel ashamed, shy or embarrassed?
Dam, I’m almost 51 years old, you would have thought I would have been over this, yet the lingering effects of disordered eating and not feeling good enough most of my life……..the programming. Much stats with television and the commercials – which I just recently heard this and love it
Raw, Naked and Beautiful
Television – Tells Lies to YOUR Vision……..
Magazines – OMG the ads in there and I could go on!
Anyway, as my new journey begins there will be many photos and stories of beautiful women and their stories on overcoming body issues, self esteem issues and food issues.
Raw, Naked and Beautiful is not about nudity – it’s about being real, authentic and of course beautiful no matter when in the nude, bathing suit, fully dressed or anything in between – it’s not vanity or ego driven!
Everything is Energy. These ways of living, feeling and being lower our vibration, create much self judgment, low self love and when we heal this within ourselves and can help other’s do the same we come closer to who we truly our – Energy of unconditional Love having a Human experience.
It’s time to raise the vibration within us and on our planet – the world needs us to step up and start shining our light so we can light someone close to us and keep it going so it’s bright bright bright!!
So, I so look forward to bringing photos of beautiful women and some great stories starting soon!!
Create that feeling within of being beautiful, empowered and full of self love!!
Raw, Naked and Beautiful
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“That’s what real love amounts to – letting a person be what he really is. Most people love you for who you pretend to be. To keep their love, you keep pretending – performing. You get to love your pretence. It’s true, we’re locked in an image, an act – and the sad thing is, people get so used to their image, they grow attached to their masks. They love their chains. They forget all about who they really are. And if you try to remind them, they hate you for it, they feel like you’re trying to steal their most precious possession.” ― Jim Morrison
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Have you ever gone hiking somewhere into the back woods or somewhere where you could connect with nature. Have you taken some time to sit in the nude in the sun and soak up the rays, enjoying the quiet (obviously where people aren’t of course), sitting with your thoughts, being present and knowing you’re perfect just the way you are?
I did and it was fun and freeing!!
“Freedom from obsession is not about something you do; it’s about knowing who you are. It’s about recognizing what sustains you and what exhausts you. What you love and what you think you love because you believe you can’t have it.”
― Geneen Roth, Women, Food and God: An Unexpected Path to Almost Everything
“You are imperfect, permanently and inevitably flawed. And you are beautiful.”
― Amy Bloom
“A cultural fixation on female thinness is not an obsession about female beauty but an obsession about female obedience.”
We are heading out on a road trip today. It’s been a crazy, amazing time leading up to this moment and I’ve been so present in what I have been doing that I gave very little time to thinking about this trip – more about all of that in another post.
As we make our way down to Florida and back over a couple of months I want to connect with women who would like to have a private photo session either just for themselves or to be part of my book coming up – Raw, Naked and Beautiful.
I am looking for women who want to be part of the Conscious Feminine to share their stories of their journey of coming back to more of themselves, more love, more self love and are body proud!!!
I have been receiving messages from the women who I have been doing nude photography sessions with on how much it has furthered their journey, empowered them, healed them and more.
The more love and self love we can bring back and embody is powerful!!
It’s time to take back our power!
Are there other ways? Of course, but this is one powerful way too, it may not speak to you but the women who have gone down the path of an eating disorder or similar, have had body issues, self esteem issues and who have bought into the lies by the advertising, media and more that we aren’t enough, nor good enough or again similar will get this!!
Please pass this on and or reach out to me as I would love to connect with you if this is resonating with you!!
I don’t know when it really started for me but I remember at the age of 13 years old being in my grandparents kitchen and my mom had me measure my thighs and she did the same, then kind of laughed at me saying her thighs were thinner.
Little did I know at the time my mom had strong anorexic tendencies then. That was the ‘70’s before internet or anyone really knowing about such things, and it contributed to me heading down a path of disordered eating and having body issues.
What also took me years to realize is that no two bodies are alike! My mom had nice breasts, carried her weight (if she had any) in her stomach area, had a flat bum and thin legs. I on the other hand have very small breasts, small waist, a bubble butt and heavier thighs. So very different.
Since that time I struggled with anorexia then bulimia for many years. If I wasn’t binging, I was exercising tons. It seemed like I was in a constant battle with my body, always hating the heavier, more athletic thighs, bubble butt, small chest that I had and being 5’2” on top of that. I felt child like many times.
I thought because I didn’t have a good size chest or cleavage, or because I wasn’t tall enough (and so on) that I wasn’t or couldn’t be sensual or womanly.
Yet nothing could be further from the truth!
In the past while I really started reflecting on what is shown to us as women from an early age from magazines, to advertisements to tv to clothing and realized how messed up it truly is. Usually leaving me feeling not good enough and / or not liking my body………..can you relate?
Where is it in our society that looks and fashion come before anything else and that one needs the perfect body? What is the perfect body and who decided what beauty is?? We’ve been programmed to believe that most if not all men love 5’10” blonde bombshells yet is it true?
We have been programmed to believe that without a label we are second class, or as the media may allude us to believe we are not good enough the way we are. Now please don’t get me wrong, I love to feel and look good. I take my health seriously by eating well. I dress for comfort and what I enjoy wearing, regardless of my age or what the fashion states as being in. And maybe that is just it – it’s my age. I’ve learned not to care what others think now.
Turning 50 last year has lead me to be able to sit and reflect on things in my life, the good and the bad, what I’ve done, not done, choices I’ve made and wasted energy in my life. I spent way too much time hating myself or my body, exercising as punishment for eating the wrong foods, or hoping to thin out my thighs instead of for the sheer enjoyment of exercising and allowing my body to move and express. I wasted too much time worrying over foods I ate that I shouldn’t have or better yet buying into any of that media hype whether on tv or in a magazine that lead me to think I just wasn’t good enough!!
Too much wasted time!
We have to stop buying into the bs programming and we have to start asking better questions and we have to start loving ourselves and bodies more, that is my opinion. We need the feminine to re-emerge fully in ourselves.
After all, if we don’t have the best relationship with ourselves how can we truly have an awesome relationship with another, based on truth and love.
Little did I know how much of a Healing Kind of Therapy this project would become!!
Even though this has been on my mind to do for several years, fear of sorts has kept it away and excuses – that one day I would do it. Yet I kept talking about it, I knew my struggles with an eating disorder for many years, with body image issues and feelings of not good enough I thought were just me, that almost everyone else was doing great – just me had issues – that I was somehow special (yet in a dysfunctional way lol).
As I started talking about this project and hearing women come forth, I realized it wasn’t just me. When one day about 2 months agoI was looking for a radio station and an interview caught my attention on eating disorders and I decided to listen in only to learn that 40% of 9 year old girls have been or were on a diet I knew I couldn’t just keep thinking about doing this or talking about one day – I just had to start it.
A dear friend created a Facebook event on Wreck Beach in Vancouver as women were interested in partaking in it for different reasons.
All I know is I am hearing how freeing it is, how a session has helped them in several ways, how they are becoming more aware of more self love and more……….that to be is music to my ears because I so can relate.
It is a kind of healing therapy, one I believe that is truly experiential and can’t be described through words.
So far everyone has said YES to being part of my book which I can’t wait to produce as women everywhere especially in North America will be able to use it, see themselves and hopefully heal parts of themselves as well from this messed up dieting, body image thing we have going on. And that nudity is a sex thing…………..
I’ve also been getting messages from both females and males saying thank you, this is needed, beautiful work which to me is a sign of being in the right place and in the flow.
I can’t tell you how honoured I am to be with these beautiful women and able to capture a moment in time, true beauty and the essence of them – you can see it over the course of the photos – the first may be a little tight, uncomfortable or tense but not by the end. Maybe it helps that I’ve been shooting them mostly in the nude too so we are on equal playing fields – it’s incredible when the clothes are off, the walls come down and the conversations become more real.
It’s not a sex thing.
It’s a real life, living, self love thing.
I am so proud to be part of this movement.
Please feel free to find out more about the Raw, Naked and Beautiful Project here or on Facebook AND if you like this or know someone it could help – PLEASE SHARE.
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